Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Advice in love for disturbingly beautiful women

I give a lot of advice to this little worldbeater, my only kid, and so far she mostly has been listening to it, though conventional wisdom suggests more trying times are ahead in her teens.

Yesterday over lunch, I gave some advice to a friend of mine that my kid may need one day. My friend Dawn is a beautiful woman. I mean, like, disturbingly beautiful. I have been fortunate to have many friends in this category, because beauty doesn't intimidate and I don't waste their time or mine trying to make it with them.

Over the years, I have watched my disturbingly beautiful women friends lead mostly miserable love lives. I have had a good vantage point to watch these love lives, because (as male buddy who appreciates their beauty but never tries to make it with them) I have earned the role of confidante. They tell me their troubles.

And, as a fellow human being and something of a natural troubleshooter, I have tried to understand their troubles and suggest a way out of them. Here is how I have it figured.

Really beautiful women never have to try very hard when it comes to options. Everywhere they go, someone wants to talk to them, take them out, take them home. A rational response to a situation like that would be to take into consideration all of the competing options and then choose the most attractive one, based upon whatever you want - looks, personality, prestige, money, humor, charm, (God forbid) a swank car.

The problem comes in with the candidate pool. When you only review the options that come to you, you are choosing from a self-selected candidate pool. Simply put, the men who self-select themselves as having a chance to make it with a disturbingly beautiful woman are usually ego trips from hell.

He may have learned to disguise his ego trip from the infernal regions in a garb of charm, but it's there, waiting to destroy your life (and, in the end, his) when you least expect it - and possibly after you have fallen in love with him and perhaps even procreated with him.

There is a way out of this pain, and it is a simple path. Really beautiful woman should make all the moves, and they should make their moves precisely on the guys who lack the guts to come to them. I can't tell you how many beautiful women friends of mine I have told, "Pick the shy guy."

Yes, conversation might be slow at first. He lacks the glib charm of the ego tripper from hell. You might have to do most of the work. He might be a slow bloomer - but that is better than a fast wilter!

And, yes, you incur the risk of rejection. The apparently shy guy with good but not dazzling looks may not, in fact, be shy - he may just not be taken with you and your disturbingly beautiful looks.

Then what? You go home alone. But isn't that better company than the fast-wilting ego tripper from hell?


Colin said...

Thank You!

chasmyn said...

Well put! While I'm not disturbingly beautiful, I always fared well when I picked the shy guys - they were just so much more interesting and fun.

dawnM said...

Thank you for you kind word Chris. I just hope for the best.-Dawn

Prospect Park said...

what great advice!! pertains to those not as disturbingly beautiful as well!!

Anonymous said...

:) love it. Personally I have a thing for geeks. You get them talking about something they're passionate about and suddenly they open up and things are easy. Plus they're usually well-read on topics of women because of the insecurities incurred early on and the academic way of looking at subjects makes them more honest. And they're just adorable in the way they blush at the company of a woman of proportion string bikini in the summer.

Anonymous said...

I'm not disturbingly beautiful or even beautiful, but I can say that I always go for shy, nerdy mama's boys and always wind up hurt, which is why I stopped dating years ago.