Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Exit interview with FBi scourge of STL corruption

This afternoon John Gillies stopped by the office of The St. Louis American. This is one-half, maybe one-third, of the interview. The most recent Special Agent in Charge of the FBI in St. Louis, Gillies is now off to lead the field office in Miami. This interview will be reported in Thursday's St. Louis American; but, after six hours of transcribing an interview at home, I am looking for some instant gratification now.

The St. Louis American: We are very sorry you are leaving. We have been covering off-the-record things about political corruption for a long time that everyone is now reading about in the daily newspaper. So this is a promotion for you?

John Gillies: Miami is a bigger office. St. Louis is 41st out of 56 cities in terms of size, while Miami is 5th. So, from that standpoint, the title is the same, the pay is the same, I just get more responsibilities. [Laughs.] But it’s all good.

The American: Many of us are afraid your leaving means we will see less investigation into public corruption. Convince us we are worrying needlessly about that.

Gillies: It’s my hope that what got put in place remains in place. I’ve got the dedicated squad investigating public corruption. Certainly what we’ve got ongoing, none of that will come to an end. The agents and their supervisor are dedicated to continuing on the progress that we’ve made in uncovering the corruption that’s ongoing here in the eastern district of Missouri.

The American: Recently, we are pleased you have successfully investigated charges of conspiracy to obstruct justice in the investigation of electoral fraud, petty bribery –

Gillies: Define “petty.”

The American: It seemed like a small amount of money. [T.D. El-Amin pled guilty to agreeing to accept $2,100 in bribes].

Gillies: There is no small amount of money when it comes to corruption. It irritates me every time I hear that “they only took $500.” That’s $500 way too much money, as far as I’m concerned. When I had this case out in San Diego and they were bribing judges, it was "only $100,000." I don’t know, what is that magic number? If they take millions, that’s okay, because it makes sense to everybody? When they take dollar one … And one of the judges did admit that on the witness stand: “When I took the first dollar, I knew what I was doing was wrong.” And I agree, that’s exactly what every one of these people know, when they take that first dollar, that what they are doing is wrong.

The American: I’m not insulting your case or the value of doing it.

Gillies: But I think it’s rightly stated that, “really, you think this is the first time? When people do it?” No, they get caught.

The American: Shall I say, rather than “petty,” “routine” bribery?

Gillies: You can see I get fired up when it comes to corruption.

The American: That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’m just as fired up. I’m sorry to see you go.

Gillies: That’s why I get irritated when people say, “It’s only $500.” $500? That’s still a lot of money. It’s still irritating that a public official would take any amount of money. They should be doing their job, what the public elected them to do. What we’re doing, we’re catching them now. To those out there who think business as usual is going to continue when I leave, I am here to tell that it’s not. That way of doing business is over. If they want to dabble in it, we’re going to catch them in it. I’m very appreciative of the public that has come forward with information. I think from our actions they are seeing that we are responding to their concerns out there. To the politicians feeling some self-imposed paranoia, I say to them, “If you’re not doing anything wrong, there shouldn’t be any paranoia. And if you are paranoid, I’m coming after you.”

The American: So, let me start over without pushing your buttons. I agree with you more than you could ever imagine. So, we have seen convictions for conspiracy to obstruct justice relating to campaign fraud, and bribery. But the other thing we hear about off the record but that we can’t substantiate is threats. In St. Louis politics, they say it’s bribes on the North Side – you caught one of those – and threats on the South Side. [Gillies takes a note at this point.] We hear a lot about people being threatened to vote a certain way or being threatened to behave a certain way. You can’t comment upon specific ongoing investigations, as I know, but generally, have you guys gotten any promising leads on investigating the threat culture in St. Louis city politics?

Gillies: I’d like to hear how you would define the “threat” aspect of it.

The American: I can give you an example. We were told that an elected official called a committeeperson who is married to someone with a job in the same political jurisdiction as the elected official ...

Gillies: I’m not going to comment on this.

The American: So you’re aware of what I was going to tell you?

Gillies: I’m not going to comment on that one way or the other.

The American: My problem as a journalist is we are told things off the record, and if they are the kind of people who would speak on the record, they wouldn’t be the kind of people who would cave under a threat.

Gillies: Correct.

The American: So are there ongoing investigations into the threat culture in St. Louis politics?

Gillies: All I can tell you is we have a number of investigations that continue in the public corruption arena.

The American: The State audit of City government has made for some good journalism. Some of those audits must have led to investigations. I’m amazed that the state auditor just had two laptops stolen from her car while attending an event in a city she has been auditing, and she left the laptops open to view in her car. Is there an impulse to investigate that? It seems like shocker.

Gillies: [Long pause.] It’s in jurisdiction of the local police department.

The American: Of course, the same auditor is also auditing the local police department. I called the state auditor communications person, who is wonderful, and she said their office received comments from the police department after the laptops were stolen. But white shirts respond to the State audit; the guys on the streets, the blue shirts, they’re going to read about the audit when it gets printed. So I think there would be a motive on the part of the working cop to know what was coming in the State audit.

Gillies: I’m going to tell you that the number of corrupt officers is not that big. I think we’ve done a hell of a job disrupting and dismantling the groups of corrupt police officers that are out there. I’m not going to tell you that we’re done, but I’ll tell you that the number of corrupt officers is in the minority. I’m appreciative of Chief Isom’s leadership at the police department, I’m appreciative of some of the changes that he’s conducted. I don’t think he would object to me sharing the fact that they speak about corruption and ethics to the recruit classes now. I think that’s huge. The FBI started Project Integrity when I was in the Detroit field office. We had corrupt police officers there, and we taped them making their personal comments about how they went wrong and the effects it has on them and their family while they are sitting in jail for the next 20 or 30 years. I think it’s very moving if you are a recruit to see cops telling you about the stresses that they have, the temptations that they have, and the endgame being that “we succumbed to those temptations and now we are in jail for the next 20 to 30 years.” They go on and tell you that “we’re local officers, we do this, we feel like we are big shots – till the feds come around. Then it’s a whole new ballgame.” We show that tape to the recruits. I get moved every time I see it. I think it’s very powerful hearing from corrupt cops about how they went bad. We’ve used it in other police departments across the country, and I’m glad Chief Isom is letting us talk to the recruit classes here. I think if you want to weed that mentality out, you talk about ethics. When I talk to them, I talk about, “You are letting your family down. Your family is proud of you, you’re a police officer, you’re giving back to your community, you’re protecting us – then you’re selling. You sell it all for what?”

The American: This “scared straight on corruption” aspect. I think you can help us here. We have some people waiting for their federal sentencing, and we have some people who think their number may be coming up in one of these press releases from the U.S. Attorney’s Office I look forward to every day I go to work, because we have been reporting on these kinds of things for a long time and we are finally seeing confirmation. We were called "divisive," "alarmists," "liars," all this stuff. We are aware, and you are probably aware, that right now there are a lot of conversations being had about “getting on the same page, let’s not be a hero, we’re all a team, you’re not going to go away for that long, and if you cut a deal, you’re not going to go away for that much less long, and these fines are not that much money, and when you get out of prison you are going to have friends who will take care of whatever your financial problems are.” There is a lot of pressure coming from powerful people on less powerful people who have got caught in the dragnet, and they are telling them that “now is not the time to be a hero.” To someone who is right now being told, “Do your time, do your bid, the amount of money is nothing to” – look at the amount of campaign contributions some of these people amass! They can find money. So, what would you say? And you are going to have chance to tell some of these people this, or your colleagues in the U.S. Attorney’s office will.

Gillies: These individuals are standing up and saying that they are doing the right thing. They are doing partially the right thing, in that they are admitting their own wrongdoing, but they know that others are involved in wrongdoing. They have witnessed it, they have been a part of it. And if you are going to quote God and religion and everything else. I think part of doing the right thing would be doing the entire right thing. And the entire right thing would be to share with law enforcement all the corruption that is out there. However, I will tell you that, with or without people’s cooperation, we will continue to pursue these matters, so those who think that by some people pleasing guilty and not cooperating (and I won’t tell you who is or who isn’t), that if they don’t cooperate they will be taken care of, etc. – that’s not going to stop us. We’re going to continue to pursue, if the public continues to come forward, and I’m hoping to convince the public that we do take these charges seriously. We have a responsibility, and through our milestones in weeding out the corruption here it makes our job tougher. People go more underground, but that’s all right. The good thing is, they don’t know who is or who isn’t cooperating with us. When they see the FBI, they see me. They don’t know we are a very diverse group. We look like anybody out there. So that’s good.

The American: I’m reporting on a city with a Democratic mayor, Democratic state auditor, Democratic attorney general, Democratic governor, and now a Democratic president, and this firebrand director of the FBI is going off to Miami where you are never going to run out of opportunities to investigate the stories that motivate you. And so people say, "That just goes to show they got the call, they pulled this guy off the job. Simmer down, it’s going to be okay.”

Gillies: That’s bull. This is a great opportunity for me to go to Miami. I go from the 41st sized office to the 5th. And offices 1, 2 and 3 are led by assistant directors, with 4 being Chicago and 5 being Miami. So that puts me in the elite leadership of the FBI in running a huge field office. I could already retire. So I’m looking for my next challenge. This is my next challenge. One of the negative things about leaving is I don’t get to see these cases brought to fruition that I know are out there. But like I said, I got a dedicated team led by a dedicated supervisor. Obviously, I have a boatload of experience in corruption I’ve mentored and passed that on. If you look for corruption, you will find it.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Crime does not pay dept.: Steve Brown disbarred


The Supreme Court of Missouri has accepted the offer of former state Rep. Steve Brown to voluntarily surrender his law license.

Steve Brown pled guilty to conspiring to obstruct justice in the federal investigation into petty electoral fraud committed by Jeff Smith's congressional campaign, which conduct, the court said, "reflects adversely on his honesty, trustworthiness and fitness as a lawyer".

From the court order:

"It is further ordered that the name of Mark Steven Brown be stricken from the roll of attorneys in this state, that he be disbarred, and that his right and license to practice law in this state be hereby terminated."

Public documents previously filed by the federal prosecutor suggest that Brown wore a wire and thus later went from conspiring to obstruct justice to collaborating in the federal investigation of political corruption. If that is true, the taxpayers owe him a thanks for that.

Here is the court order today.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Read em and weep: El-Amin plea bargain documents


Hard to feel good about such bad news, but perhaps today we are that much closer to cleaning up politics in St. Louis.

Here are the documents on state Rep. T.D. El-Amin accepting bribes to intercede with City government on behalf of a gas station owner. Read them and weep.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Bootblogging #17: Yet more The Lettuce Heads


I wouldn't believe it had I not seen it with my own two eyes, but for the first time since it was recorded in 1993, my favorite-ever St. Louis rock band The Lettuce Heads has its best-ever record ready for purchase by the music-loving public.

Three of the Lettuce lads did a gig today at The North City Farmers Market that I was supposed to be on (I did make a cameo market appearance as alleged "celebrity" judge of local produce, casseroles and pies); and I was stupefied when Carl Pandolfi presented me with a copy of the record that almost looked professionally produced.

I am dismissive of their professionalism on specific grounds. These guys are expert songwriters and musicians, on par with anyone in rock music who is paid to do these things, but they have all the crass careerism and self-promotional gifts of the knobby little spud I judged today to be the Best Strange Vegetable on display.

Hence the sly hilarity of the title under which they released this epic rock record, For Promotional Purposes Only. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. They recorded it in 1993 and "released" it a free 2009 gig at a farmer's market in North St. Louis attended by more children - more weird vegetables - than hipsters.

I have been threatening to release the record for ten years, which lets you know you never want to leave it to me to release your record for you. My title was to be When You Blink, a line from one of the songs - as in, this amazing band and its unreleased masterpiece all happened when you were blinking. Gone in the blink of an eye!

But back! In a blink.

mp3s

(Mike Burgett)
The Lettuce Heads

(Carl Pandolfi)
The Lettuce Heads

(Jon Ferber)
The Lettuce Heads

I am just guessing who wrote which song - I guessed the lead singer is the writer.

How do you get a copy of the entire cd? You're asking me? Me who delayed ten years to release the record for them? And left it to these self-saboteurs to do it themselves?

More in this series

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Bootblogging #16: I will be your volunteer! (for Bob Slate)


Like most sentient beings who lived to see a television, I have always been irritated at the phenomenon of someone talking back to their TV, though I somehow don't mind this when it comes across via Twitter.

Take my old buddy Bob Slate, a fellow Granite City boy who turned journalist, and like members of our tribe, has wandered the Earth from job to job.

Along the way, he developed an attachment to the University of Tennessee Volunteers, though unfortunately for his college football affections, he is now a Vols fan living in exile in Decatur, Alabama, where the people bleed a Crimson Tide.

This past Saturday I was not irritated, but rather amused, to find in my Twitter stream Bob Slate talking back to his TV, where his Vols were in competition, I don't care against whom.

Fumblllle!

Javier needs to break one.

Where's the flag in the end zone?

Now that was thrown with authority.

McElroy looking like he's confused. Go deep again.

What? What? Did someone say special teams?
Like I say, I don't care whom they were playing, nor who won or lost. But I was entertained enough by Bob's ejaculations at the game to ask him which team he was rooting for, which is how I learned about his thing for the Vols.

At that point, I remembered my favorite unknown and unreleased rock song, "Into the Teens" by Soda - a lost rock band from Milwaukee, Wisconsin - which has as its thrilling chorus "I will be your volunteer!"

I've no clue what the song is about, as the lyrics are suggestive and opaque. I'm pretty sure it's not about U.T. football, but I'm equally sure that a grown man who talks to his TV set through Twitter while the Vols are on the tube will be more than happy to roll down the windows, crank up my favorite lost rock band, and sing along at the top of his lungs, "I will be your volunteer!"

mp3

(Soda)
Unreleased

[This song belongs to them, not to me or you, though I can put you in touch with the lads should the Vols want to license it!]

More in this series

Bootblogging #1: Three by The Lettuce Heads
Bootblogging #2: Three elegies for local musicians
Bootblogging #3: Michael Shannon Friedman
Bootblogging #4: Three more by The Lettuce Heads
Bootblogging #5: Chuck Reinhart's guitar circle hits
Bootblogging #6: The silly side of The Lettuce Heads
Bootblogging #7: Songs for "Divorcing God"
Bootblogging #8: More songs for "Divorcing God
Bootblogging #9: Adam Long presents The Imps!
Bootblogging #10: More Michael Shannon Friedman
Bootblogging #11: The Adversary Workers
Bootblogging #12: The May Day Orchestra
Bootblogging #13: Solo Career live in Santa Monica
Bootblogging #14: Four from The Funhouse (Seattle punk)
Bootblogging #15: Four more from The Funhouse (Seattle punk rock)

*

Pic of Vols cheerleader from somebody's Flickr.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Xylaphone jam ring circle dance in the courtyard


After the Ghana Air Force Band had torn down and the rest of the funeral reception was being dismantled at the Catholic church in Nima, Accra, some young men broke out xylaphones and started to jam in the courtyard where people had recently been dancing to the highlife in memory of my father in law, Kpakpo Mensah.


One guy also was beating a hand drum that seemed to be made out of the same gourd used to construct the xylaphones.

I am a sucker for West African xylaphone music. When Karley and I were married in Lashibi, a suburb of Accra, I insisted that her sister hire a xylaphone player so we could have some more traditional music at the reception along with the club deejay.


Another guy also was clacking a couple of dried shells as sort of impromptu castanets.


The young man on the drum had worked the funeral reception as a caterer. We had struck up a long conversation, as the reception wound down, about his country and my country, and it was because I saw him among these jamming musicians that I felt comfortable joining them.


They were wailing, vocally, singing their hearts out in a local language with the call-and-response fervor that conquered the world after Africans came to the Americas.


This kid was hamming it up. Of course, children are much more shameless at enjoying the odd presence and attention of the outside, the Buronyi ("corn-colored person").

I felt like getting some exercise and expressing myself, so - well aware of what I spectacle I would make - I got into the act, and my wife hurried over to work the camera and capture the moment.

It felt good. I have been listening to this kind of music for half of my life. That doesn't mean I will ever succeed in dancing to it gracefully.

Buronyi dancing really rallied the children to the scene.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Rich guy sues to buy Missouri capitol and capital


Disassociated Press - The Missouri capitol and indeed all of the currently public land in the state capital, Jeff. City, will soon be for sale to the highest or most metricious bidder, if a suit filed by one of Missouri's wealthiest sons succeeds.

"My client has grown frustrated with the process of buying one politician at a time, especially with these irritating term limits and nagging federal investigations into individual political corruption," said Mere Tricious, attorney for the plaintiff, the financier Rick Sickgeld.

"It is our position that, if you are rich and smart enough, you should be able to own everything - including and especially the government," atty. Tricious continued. "If our suit is successful - and we are putting that pretender President Hussein Obama on notice, here - then Washington is next."

Political insiders widely consider this suit to be inspired by the downfall of one of the Missouri politicians Sickgeld had previously bought, state Senator John Doe, who was brought down by a federal investigation into political corruption.

"Basically, he cheated on his homework," Post-Pulitzer political beat writer Blametha Messenger said of Doe. "But his problems began in earnest when he lied to federal investigators about cheating on his homework. That is when a misdemeanor offense that would have required him to write on a chalkboard in public before the Cornahan political dynasty 'I cheated on my homework when I was campaigning on a platform of thou-shalt-not-cheat-on-thy-homework' was upgraded into a felony conviction that may well result in some time in prison to reflect upon his errors in judgment."

Sickgeld has filed an Amicus Brief (Latin for "trying to buy the judge") with the court arguing that Doe's sentence for the felony conviction should be graded back down to writing on the chalkboard in public before the Cornahan political dynasty, adding to the bit about cheating and his platform about not cheating the following: "and I promise never ever again to run against a member of the Cornahan political dynasty unless I can raise more money and the Cornahan in question hasn't showed up for work much in his or her previous elected office".

Doe could not be reached for comment, on the advice of his attorney, Flea Bargain, though he was still writing a lot of emails about his situation, which he really shouldn't be doing.

Sickgeld was approached for comment, and through his spokesperson, a cousin of the Flay political dynasty, he said the following: "When you pay good money for a politican who shares your interest in making public education something you should have to pay for and can freeze the unions out of gradually, then it just makes no sense that some FBI do-gooder with a flat top can come along and put your politician, who you paid for with your own money, in prison where he can't work to pass any more of the laws your lobbyists write."

John Killes, special agent with a flat top in charge of the FBI, said, "Until wildcats like Sickgeld or the Flay dynasty completely own the government and legalize corruption, then we are not going to tolerate this kind of corruption".

Fortunately for Sickgeld, the Flay dynasty and future Missouri politicians Sickgeld may purchase, Killes was shipped off to run the FBI office in Miami immediately after the announcement of his conviction of John Doe and Doe's codefendant, state Rep. Wired Down. Sickgeld's attorney denied any connection between the successful prosecution of political corruption by Killes in Missouri and his being shipped off to Miami almost immediately.

"My client doesn't own the federal government yet," atty. Tricious said. "At this point, we are just trying to buy the Missouri government. Well, actually, our suit just puts Missouri government up for sale, totally - and since we have the most money in Missouri, and the market is free for those with the most money, it stands to reason that we will own it almost as soon as it is for sale."

Sickgeld recently moved back home to Missouri to purchase the state, starting with a large number of individual politicans, after making more money than God in the state of California.

"Obviously, he was doing pretty good out there, when you look at all the money he made off of playing with other people's ill-gotten gains," Blametha Messenger of the Post-Pulitzer said. "But then, according to my sources, Governor Schwarzhoosier was elected. And that is when Sickgeld started thinking, 'This state (California), big as it is, is not big enough for two really rich guys with weird German names. And besides, Schwarzhoosier is a cyborg who can kick my ass."

*

This is, maybe you guessed, a satire. A joke. Any resemblance to persons living or with their names punned upon is intended to provoke laughter - and, perhaps, reflection upon some current directions in St. Louis and Missouri politics.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Dead men don't dance, so let's dance

My wife reminded me today that I had left the story of her father's Homegoing celebration in Accra, Ghana, dangling in the middle, which wasn't my intention, but life has a way with us. Anyway, I was paused at a really great moment - after the food at the reception following the graveside service, just as the music was kicking in. And what fine music it was - The Silver Wings, the working highlife band for the Ghana Air Force!


I enjoyed seeing the bandleader Emanuel Teye, frame the poster of my father in law, Kpakpo Mensah, that waved in the wind behind his head.


I think you see everywhere in West African funerals these traces of the old religion of ancestor veneration. Kpakpo was literally watching over us.


And The Silver Wings rocked! Actually, they highlifed! This is a pop music form that grew out of military bands, bringing European instruments to bear upon local rhythms and intonations, singing in local languages.



It was a funeral, but the people were feeling it.



As so often, I was reminded more of marriage celebrations in the U.S. than funerals. The reception became a vast party that felt public because the number of extended family (and friends) is so huge.


The dancing was made more vivid by the local textiles worn by the dancers, for which West Africa is justly famous.



Fragments of traditional dance forms emerged from time to time, then faded back into the party mix.


I couldn't keep my eyes off this man, who danced better with his disability and cane than I ever could with my even legs and feet.


He had a clown aspect to his dancing, but was very serious all the same.


Like I said, I couldn't keep my eyes off him - and complimented him as he was leaving.


He used that cane as a kind of pogo stick out there on the dance floor.

The reception was held at the Catholic church in Nima, the shantytown in the heart of Accra where my wife's family is based. The childish painting on the wall is for the church school, where many of our family members were educated.


I didn't just watch, I danced too, though thankfully I have no photographic evidence of that. I was widely photographed by others, who don't see many Buronyi ("corn-colored person") attending their family functions.


These guys in the white shirts were really clowning - a phrase for dancing I learned in the all-black Mississippi Hill Country that applied perfectly in Nima.


Like they say, dead men don't dance - so we aught to dance at funerals, those of us who are alive.


Let's dance and enjoy every moment we are provided that is not given over to work and struggle and illness and death.


Had to get a snap of Christine, my wife's dear friend who lived in the Bronx when we lived in New York, and her sister. Christine loves to call people "darling," and she is very darling herself. Their mother, who lives outside Accra, also is one of our very good friends and attended our wedding in New York.

As always, I was proud to share this vivid experience with our daughter, Leyla Fern, shielding her eyes from the sun there, watching the band. I can only imagine a life where at age six I attended a Homegoing for my African grandfather in West Africa and stood this close to the Ghana Airforce Band as they pumped out the jams for hours ...

* Pictures are by me; click them and they get bigger.*

More in this series

Reception for Kpakpo at the Catholic church in Nima
'You cannot tell the goat story without the cow'
Libations to the dead man, down in his grave
A light was going out, A Light was shining
The flag, the casket, and the cross
One last journey to his final resting place
Blood on the threshhold and on the butcher's shoes
"Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him"
A fine farewell to a father in law
Family and friends at Kpakpo Mensah's Homegoing

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Shakespeare in a fortune cookie


The Folger Shakespeare Library whispers me its secrets via my Twitter feed, and in this way I learned that an upcoming China exhibit had provoked the Folgerians to call for Shakespeare quotes that could be folded into fortune cookies and sold in the gift shop during the run of the exhibit.

I live for this sort of thing. Confluence City, ya'know. So I sped around in some of my favorite plays, and sent the Folger some lines that might make sense to someone who broke open a fortune cookie and found them there.

Love, and be silent.
(Cordelia in King Lear)

You have now the good advantage of the night.
(Edmund in King Lear)

You are abused and by some putter-on
That will be damn'd for't.
(Antigonus in A Winter's Tale)

Your marriage comes by destiny.
(The Clown in All's Well That Ends Well)

Your voice shall be as strong as any man's
In the disposing of new dignities.
(Cassius in Julius Caesar)
Barbara Jacoby wrote back from The Folger saying thanks; good ones; she would add them to the list.

Twitter cuts you back to 140 characters, so there wasn't an opportunity in the announcement I read to describe what exactly the China exhibit is.

As I look into the matter, I see it must be Imagining China: The View from Europe, 1550-1700 - which comes with a musical performance I so would like to see, A Harmony of Friends: Music of Italy and China.

What's it all about?

Folger says: "Early modern Europeans imagined China as a land of wonder, of riches, and of enormous opportunity. Rare books and maps from the Folger collection, along with items from the Library of Congress and the Walters Arts Museum, capture England's dawning cultural awareness and admiration of things Chinese."

The exhibit is free, so if they choose any of my fortunes for the cookies I don't suppose free tickets would be of much value. Neither do I see them buying plane tickets to D.C. for everybody who submits a winning fortune. I think I'll hit them up some recordings of The Folger Consort if I make the cookie cut.