Conspiracy foiled by yard sale parking caper

I used to be something of an honorary member of a hippie commune (they would say "intentional community"), where I heard a saying I have often resorted to since: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

I had a drink yesterday with a lawyer who has knowledge of the ongoing investigations into corruption in the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department, vis a vis S&H Towing. He said he has been doing touchy cop cases for five years or so, but never been threatened until this week - when he was threatened three times.

Not a horse head in the bed, just a gruff "Watch your back." Which, when it comes from a man licensed to carry and use a firearm under the protective cloak of police duty, is enough to make you watch your back.

A reporter from The St. Louis American received an anonymous death threat by phone the week before. St. Louis County Police are investigating, they said. Take it seriously, she was urged, though their initial hunch is that it was a sick prank.

I woke up this morning, and there was a strange car in my driveway.

It was unoccupied. It was devoid of blood or damage. It looked like it could have been owned by someone known to me - Vintage Vinyl sticker, adapter enabling an old cassette deck to spin CDs - but it was not known to me.

When you are investigating police corruption tied to a towing yard, and a strange car appears in your driveway very early one morning, it's enough to make you wonder. I wondered what was in the trunk. I wondered if it had been towed there. I wondered if anyone else I know had strange cars mysteriously towed into their driveways overnight.

My wife, not at all in the grips of the towing scandal, said, "Call the police before you get all paranoid." I called the (local, municipal) police. They ran the plates and drove over. The car is licensed to my neighbor's daughter-in-law. The neighbor is watching our house (and swimming in our pool) while we visit family this weekend, and his driveway is full this morning with yard sale wares.

I guess the daughter-in-law is in on the swimming this weekend (with our blessings!) and thought we had already departed. So she parked in our driveway.

End of conspiracy.

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Cartoon courtesy of Toothpaste for Dinner.